By Mariam Mokhtar

What will our children and youth think of MPs being racist, sexist and shouting and cursing in parliament? What will they think of the brutality of the police when they deal with the public? Do our children think is it alright to steal from the rakyat because our prime ministers do it? What do they think of parliament being inaccessible to our elected MPs? What do they think of the government claiming ownership of Dataran Merdeka which belongs to the rakyat?

Most of us have no control over government policy or how civil servants function. Nor do we have the power to reform an institution like the judiciary or police. But we can start teaching our young about right and wrong, and the importance of speaking out.

Being outspoken is not being rude. Discussing sensitive issues is not done to upset or humiliate others but to try and find solutions and come to a mutual understanding.

Bullying others into submission is not how things are done.

So, if we are keen to build a nation, we can start work on ourselves and members of our family.

In our rush to become an industrialized nation and pursue greater wealth, high position and power, some of us threw away the family values which had been honed for centuries by our forefathers.

Judging from how our leaders behave now, it is the right time to reestablish family values.

Family meals provide an opportunity for family members to come together, strengthen ties and build better relationships.

You share ideas, share a problem, or solve a problem at the dining table. Members have a sense of engagement and belonging. This leads to better self-esteem.

In some households, children eat off a plate in front of the television or the computer monitor in social isolation.

What happens in the family unit is a reflection of what happens outside of it.

These little things in life matter, and if we can't do the little things right at the dining table, how are we going to take care of the big things in life?

Family meals offer parents a chance to be role models. They can set an example of healthy eating and having polite table manners.

It is a time to focus on social interaction and not on the television or smartphone.

Strong family values are built on compassion, respect, justice, peace, equality and tolerance of different opinions and ideas.

In many Asian households, sons are treated like Little Emperors. They do not help with the chores. They are spoilt and pampered. They bully their sisters.

Perhaps, if some members of parliament had been taught to respect their sisters when they were children, they would not be the sexist, foul mouthed bullies that they are today.

So, if we want to build a nation, we can treat our children equally and teach our sons to respect women.

At the dining table, parents can also teach their daughters to stand up for themselves instead of being bullied. The daughter of a friend started work in a Malay company. By the second day, the boss told her to wear a tudung and more conservative clothes. She did not return.

If we want to build a nation, we should respect our women for what they are capable of, and not for the clothes we want them to wear.

To successfully build a nation, we can also tell our children that success comes to those who work hard, and that success won't happen overnight.

If we involved family members in household chores, or preparing meals and clearing-up, and not leaving everything to the maid, this simple act would bond us together.

If we want to build a nation, our children must learn the importance of working as a team.

Some households have maids. How do we treat the domestic helper? Is she a slave working from dawn to midnight?

We can measure the worth of a person by how he treats the less privileged and the marginalized in society like the migrant workers, the homeless, or refugees.

So, to build a nation, we should teach our children to show respect and dignity to those who are less privileged than them.

Racism begins at home. In some homes, it is convenient to blame others when members of the family do not get the promised job, or the grades to enter college. Often those from a different race or religion are blamed.

If we want to build a nation, we must first remove our race-tinted specs.

There are some households where the seat at the head of the table is empty. This is because the father is at a younger wife's house, sometimes, for weeks on end. The missing father-figure affects the mental health of his children and his wives. A father's role is important in the family structure.

If we were to cast your mind to the first sitting of parliament after the Emergency last week, Mahiaddin Yassin was missing at the winding-up session.

Important questions and decisions had to be made. Like the empty seat at the head of the family table of a polygamous family, Mahiaddin avoided all responsibility.

He was desperate to seize power and become PM and yet, he cannot bring himself to act the role.

If we want to build a nation, we must find the right people for the job.

You may not think it, but the family mealtime brings large rewards for the family.

The family is the bedrock of the society. A network of families will build strong communities. Strong communities will ultimately lead to a strong nation.

(Mariam Mokhtar is a Freelance Writer.)