The journey of caring for their sons with autism has been filled with challenges for Sarah Lee and Jacquelyn Ang. It has demanded endless time, energy, and a love that never gave up.

For Jacquelyn Ang, a Singaporean married to a Malaysian, it was a constant search for the right approach.

Ang once went through dark periods of emotional breakdowns, repeated setbacks, exhausting travel between Malaysia and Singapore for treatment, and even fleeting thoughts of ending her life.

Fortunately, Ang never gave up on improving the behaviour of her son, Ryan. She continuously worked to find suitable methods, believing that one day she would find the right path for him.

When speaking about Ryan’s condition and her journey of caring for a child with special needs, Ang maintained a calm and composed tone for most of the interview.

Behind that composure lies a settled acceptance and grace, cultivated over years of anxiety, helplessness, relentless search for treatments, and long, patient waiting.

Ang, 56, has four children—two sons and two daughters—with Ryan being the second child. Ryan is 31 now. 

Before Ryan turned two, Ang’s mother and Ryan’s childcare teachers noticed early signs of autism, such as a lack of eye contact.

At the time, Ang thought he might just be young and introverted. Doctors often cannot make a definitive diagnosis before age two, so she did not take him for an assessment right away.

It was during Ryan’s second birthday celebration at childcare that Ang noticed a stark contrast between Ryan and other children.

“Ryan was either lying on the floor by himself or hiding off to the side, not interacting with the other kids at all.”

In that moment, she realised that her child was indeed “different.”

Forming parent support groups and inviting experts

During the 1990s and 2000s, information about autism was scarce and the internet was not widely accessible, making it difficult for Ang to find solutions. She subsequently founded a parent support group, regularly inviting local and international experts to share intervention methods and training strategies.

Ang ignored myths and alternative remedies for “curing” autism, as well as the judgmental looks of others. As long as a method brought practical improvements to Ryan’s condition, she actively tried it.

Due to language barriers and sensory overloads, Ryan sometimes exhibited violent tendencies, anxiety, and seizures, which deeply worried his family.

Ang brought Ryan back to Singapore to live and receive special education for an extended period. She also served on the board of the Autism Resource Centre (Singapore), a non-profit organisation, stepping down as a board member last year.

She currently serves as a trainer and a council member of the Autism Association (Singapore).

Seeking intervention and tailoring education

Knowing that the autism spectrum varies in severity, Ang found that standard intervention programmes available at the time could not fully meet Ryan’s severe needs.

“In Singapore, many associations could invite overseas experts to train special needs children. I sent him to these programmes, but they didn’t yield good results.”

Angry and helpless, she brought him back to Kuala Lumpur. She decided to enroll in a distance-learning Master’s degree in Autism Education from a UK university, studying at home to gain professional knowledge to help her son.

Ang emphasises that no single intervention or training method fits every child with autism, as everyone’s presentation and required level of support differ.

Today, she understands Ryan’s behavioural characteristics and strengths much better. She trains and encourages him step-by-step to build his confidence, tailoring her guidance to tap into his potential

She acknowledges that Ryan will need lifelong care. If his parents pass away, his siblings will take over.

“Because of that, he needs to contribute to the household too. When he’s hungry, he should be able to find food for himself rather than just sitting there waiting to be fed,” said Ang.

The home serves as a training ground with many daily chores. The family assigns light housework to Ryan; today, he helps with all the family’s laundry. His father, an industrial products wholesaler, also relies on Ryan to help assemble packaging boxes—a task Ryan performs remarkably fast.

A way forward for every child

“To me, there is always a way to improve a child’s behaviour. Never give up—he is not useless,” she said.

Ryan’s family members are his biggest supporters. Jacquelyn created a website (teamryan1995.com) to document his journey with autism. His family forms his strongest team, ready to walk beside him through every stage of life.

A single mother who raised her family with an autistic child

Sarah Lee is a single mother raising her autistic child after her husband’s passing.

“The road of caring for a child with autism is very long,” Lee said.

Her son, Ping Lian Yeak is a young man with severe autism, accompanied by intellectual and communication impairments. When he was 10 years old, his father died of a heart attack, leaving his mother, Lee, to raise the entire family.

As a single mother, Lee worked tirelessly to raise her three children—Ping Lian and his two sisters.

When Ping Lian was 12, the family relocated to Sydney, Australia. Today, Ping Lian is a 32-year-old young man, and Lee is 64 now.

Reflecting on their journey, Lee shared that she has experienced many highs and lows. She once thought that when Ping Lian showed well-behaved and calm progress at age 16, things would continually improve.

However, when he reached 20, new behavioural changes emerged. Together, mother and son faced and overcame those challenges, and Ping Lian’s behaviour gradually stabilised.

Finding ways to communicate

Usually, Ping Lian is responsible for taking the laundry to the washing machine, folding it, and putting it in the closet. However, he once developed a sense of guilt, constantly worrying about making mistakes and repeatedly asking the same question to confirm the answer.

Lee worked continuously to find better ways to communicate with him and address his behavior.

A passion for drawing: becoming a world-renowned savanta artist

Ping Lian loves drawing and has become an internationally recognised autistic savant artist. Transforming from a child with severe behavioural challenges to an accomplished artist involved many twists and turns.

“We started with reading, tracing lines, and drawing. Step by step, we made our way onto the path of art.”

On weekends, Ping Lian undergoes work training and displays his artwork for sale at The Rocks Market in Sydney.

As Ping Lian grows older, this passage of time has brought new realisations for Lee. She deeply feels that caring for a child with autism is an unending journey.

She realised that while art opened a door for Ping Lian, living with dignity, achieving independence, and being a good helper with household chores represent the true victories. The early stage of this journey is the most critical.

“Without that first step, there would be no second or third step… and none of what followed—today’s achievements—would have happened.”

In Lee’s eyes, Ping Lian’s success is not measured by conventional standards.

“As long as Ping Lian can independently push his trolley from the market stall to the storage room, I am already very happy and fulfilled.”

Sharing real stories in Malaysia

Currently living in Sydney, Lee and Ping Lian will return to Malaysia in September to visit relatives. Taking advantage of this trip, Lee hopes to share their true story with fellow parents and therapists.

 To document Ping Lian’s growth, she created a website (pinglian.com) so families around the world can learn more about his journey.

Both Ang and Lee will host two parent-sharing sessions in September to share their real-life experiences in raising special needs children. Parents, teachers, special education workers, and members of the public are welcome to attend.

Session 1 (English):

Date & Time: Saturday, September 5 | 9am-12pm

Venue: Oasis Place, 16th Floor, Menara Sentral Vista, Kuala Lumpur

Admission: Free (Limited to 40 participants)

Contact: 03-2276 9111 / WhatsApp: 010-900 9673

Session 2 (Mandarin)

Date & Time: Saturday, September 12 | 9am – 12pm

Venue: SPICES Early Intervention Centre, Wangsa Maju, Kuala Lumpur

Admission: RM20 per person (Registration closes September 4)

Contact: 03-4149 8032 / Email: [email protected] / Facebook: facebook.com/spiceseip