By Mariam Mokhtar

On 28 March, a woman wielding a machete stopped officers from the National Anti-Drugs Agency (AADK) from arresting her two sons aged 18 and 20, who were suspected of being involved in drug abuse.

Having positioned herself at the front door of the family home in Batu Kurau near Taiping, the mother warded off attempts by the officers to enter the house and search for drugs and arrest her sons.

During the 30-minute standoff, her sons, who had been hiding in the house, tried to escape via the roof, but they eventually surrendered and were arrested. They tested positive for drugs.

The AADK operation called "Op Perdana" was to zoom in on drug abuse activities in the Larut, Matang and Selama district.

During the two-day operation, 36 people were arrested and 55.29 grams of morphine was seized.

If you are a parent and had to experience a similar situation as this mother, what would you have done?

Would you have acted to prevent your sons' arrest? Would you permit the house to be searched, provided there was a search warrant? Or would you be in denial and think that your children can do no wrong?

The Batu Kurau mother had two sons with an alleged background of drug abuse, but the crime may not necessarily be about drug taking. It could have been theft, domestic violence, assault and battery, or a sexual crime like molestation or rape.

Whatever the crime, would you, as a parent, protect your criminal child? Would you lie to cover up his crimes?

Perhaps, the Batu Kurau mother has not heard of tough love.

Was she aware of her sons' drug use? How had they started taking drugs? How do they fuel this addiction? How bad is their addiction?

Do most teenagers start off with soft drugs and then become addicted to the hard stuff? How productive will they be if they cannot hold down a job, or find that most of their wages are paid to a drug dealer? Will they resort to theft, stealing brass taps or copper wire, or purse snatching to make money for their daily fix?

So what is tough love? Tough love is when you treat someone harshly without being violent, abusive or lashing out at them.

Tough love is when a parent or someone whom the person will listen to, enforces certain constraints on the child so that he will attempt to change his behavior to become a more responsible person.

The person whose behavior needs changing will not like the harsh treatment, as he is not used to discipline or strict rules.

Parents cannot cover up their children's crimes for the rest of their lives. The child needs to mature and learn to act responsibly. The child cannot have everything he desires, or do anything he wants, just because he feels like it.

If he were to steal or become violent towards others, disciplining would be important. The punishment should be short and sharp. It could be something as simple as returning the stolen item with an apology. The child should be told to replace the item with his own pocket money or savings.

Tough love teaches the child respect, common decency and values.

In today's world, many parents struggle to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table. Consequently proper parenting suffers.

Parents who hold down two or three jobs may be too tired to ensure their children are disciplined.

A few families have absent fathers, or lack a father-figure who is a role model for the sons.

What if the Batu Kurau mother had sons who had been involved in a serious crime like murder or manslaughter? Would she have stopped the police from arresting them? Would she have created a false alibi? Would she have lied to cover up any incriminating evidence?

The Batu Kurau mother should realize that her sons need help. She is also responsible for how they have turned out to be.

If they are hardened addicts, they need rehabilitation. She should support this, or else they may demand that she funds their addiction.

Parents who do not discipline their children are responsible for their children's behavior. Children who are allowed to do as they please, like steal, lie, or take drugs, may grow into young criminal adults in a life of lawlessness.

When this happens, the state will do whatever is necessary to protect the other members of the society.

Source:

1. Bernama: Mother used machete to stop AADK arresting her sons

(Mariam Mokhtar is a Freelance Writer.)