By Asohan Satkunasingham

Let me make a direct translation from a Malay proverb, "where there is sugar, there are bound to be ants".

Like other insects, ants use chemo-sense to detect sugar. When sugar strikes our mind, the connection is to the harmful craving for its sweetness.

Recently, sugar daddy's craving for a sugar baby has attracted huge media attention and much talk from the public has surfaced.

This craving in the form of temptation cannot be ignored since it connotes unhealthy societal values.

The term sugar daddy has its origin since early of 19th century, when Adolph Spreckels, heir to the Spreckel's sugar fortune, married a woman who was 24 years younger than him.

Apparently, this term took a while to catch up with the society. However, we need to be mindful that legal marriages although at times with huge age disparity would not fall into the sugar daddy category that is being debated.

We all know the two ingredients to the term sugar daddy. The first being sugar, which denotes temptation to money and expensive gifts, and the latter daddy, is a colloquial term for a man of some age and power. Hence, a sugar daddy is a generous older man who spends lavishly on his sugar baby, normally an attractive younger woman who is tempted or can't afford such life luxuries.

These generosity without marital commitments is only the sugar coating to advance activities from hand-holding, cuddling to a full intimate encounter.

Whilst the society is concerned with the sugar daddy issue, let's not ignore the term sugar mummy where a wealthy woman spends freely on a younger person or a sugar boy in return for the same type of coating in the form of companionship or intimacy.

There is also this term "sugar brother" typically referring to a younger average-looking male who splurges and flaunts money of his rich dad on an attractive female without any expectation in return except from enjoying the girl's presence for party and outings.

Now the question. What drives a sugar daddy or sugar mummy the need to procure the services of a sugar baby or a sugar boy?

I may not have the answers to speak on their behalf since that would form a stereotype and judging from my view point. However, my concern is not to justify their sugar-coating act but to address this sugary temptation that will eventually erode values and create a blemish mark on both elderly men and women as well as young girls and boys.

A time will come when we see a young girl or boy becoming rich due to their own efforts and diligence, becomes a victim of the civil society's preconceived judgment that their wealth was immorally earned from being a sugar baby or boy.

Separately, let me pose these questions to parents. How would you feel to learn if your child is part of this sugary racket? What if you are a sugar daddy that have procured a sugar baby only to find out later that she is your daughter's close friend?

I am certain that these questions will not auger pleasant answers but only creates awkwardness.

As we start the blaming game and bringing the universities, portals etc. into this equation, what is the actual root cause for such actions by these young girls and boys to succumb to such temptations? Are these youngsters solely to be blamed or there are others to be dragged into this blame?

I will share a few causes but many of these answers are rooted with the society itself.

1. Ensure your children stop the attitude of keeping up with the Joneses.

A few years ago, my friend related how pressured his daughter was in college surrounded by students from affluent families. They used to come in luxury cars. Until my friend had a rude shock when his daughter called to thank him for the Porsche as a birthday gift.

Later she called back to inform him that she was actually trying to fake it to make it since these students were around.

This friend of mine had to keep close tap of his daughter and started to motivate her to understand living from their reality lenses.

It is always good to keep your children grounded to reality and learn to stop mimicking society, yearn to earn from a moral living that is morally upright.

Show them to practice self-value, not gratified by valuables and luxuries so that the lure towards valuables would not attract them to false sugary temptations.

2. In a high-tech world, keep a high-touch connection with your children.

Technology seems to be a disruptor today. Look around before the pandemic during weekend that is supposed to be a family day. The whole family whilst having breakfast, will be engrossed with their respective gadgets.

At times I tend to wonder, are they closely communicating through their gadgets during such family time?

Keeping a high personal touch with children will help as the value of compassion, care and love transcends everything.

At times, sugar babies are wanting for this affection and attention, thus drown into eventual temptation.

3. The authorities must always keep their ears on the ground.

I believe we have sufficient rules, regulations etc. to help curb such activities. My question: are they effective? If they are, then such sites would not be hosting aggressively and recruiting these sugar babies rampantly.

Through my maiden book, "Attitude + Behavior = Character", to transform behavior, rules and regulations are short-term effective modifiers. If the authorities are keen to see real changes, then they will need to provide programs and interventions that will deeply root into these sugar babies' habits that will be a rehabilitation for real transformation. In absence of such deep-rooted approach, the blame game will continue.

4. Practice delayed gratification. In an instantaneous world, almost everything is lured on the basis of instant gratification of "I want it all and want it now", thus the crusade for greed.

Due to this greed, temptation builds. In order to help these sugar babies, get them to shift their focus each time a temptation lures their mind.

As they keep practicing this exercise, slowly they will build resistance in the long run to avoid going into this wrong path. Avoid instant gratifiers.

Similar to the corporate world, when we introduce reengineering, realignment of workforce, transformation of people, etc., they carry the ultimate meaning of "I don't need you any longer" or your service is terminated.

Likewise, sugar coat this sugary act in anyway that has metamorphosed the centuries-old flesh trade into an international racket with a no point of return, unless those involved take a sharp turn to embrace the moral compass.

For sugar daddies and mummies, have empathy and realize that some of these girls are fit to be your daughters, sons or even grandchildren. Take a minute to reflect and shift focus to resist temptations.

For the sugar babies and boys, always remember the cardinal rule, your body is sacred. All instant gratifiers are sugar coated that don't last and hold luster but only give instant lust to regret later in life.

In order to address and arrest this issue, it takes two to tango and where there is sugar, there are bound to be ants.

Lastly, due to the pandemic effect, let us also be vigilant that some youngsters could fall victims to scammers that will sugar coat to promise lucrative jobs, only to be dubbed into this sugary or other immoral activities.

(Asohan Satkunasingham is an Author, HR Consultant and Corporate Teacher with 30 years of Human Resources experience.)